Kerrang

I'm not here to slag anyone off I promise. I don't want my next words to be but...but kerrang you've changed man. you used to be cool. 
My good friend Mike at Got Me A Movie can articulate and formulate clear and concise, perfectly constructed well rounded reviews. I can rant. This time rant I shall. For you see this is something close to my heart.

Imagine if you will it is 6 June 81. You've just finished listening to Ozzy's Diary for a Madman, or perhaps Maidens Killer's. Maybe Mötley Crüe Too Fast for Love if you're that way inclined. You pop along to your local newsagents for a bag of rhubarb and custard sweets or whatever the hell those crazy kids were eating those days (I'm but a minus figure at the time you see). You briefly look to the magazine for a glimpse of a nudy rag when lo you eyes glance upon a new and intriguing magazine. No not Dirty Housewives but this...

 

Oh dear reader how I wish i was that young boy! I'd have been a quivering wreck! Now drag your mind kicking and screaming out of the 80's when heavy metal was great! To now. Same newsagents. Same rhubarb and custard. Same mucky mags. However...

 

 G

Well 2007,  but this particular edition pee'd me of ever so! Yes it does mention machine head, who are awesome. (Gig review coming up after the Feb 17!) But seriously Fall Out Boy?! On the same cover that started with AC/DC! The King's of...Everything?! Then "The Sexiest Men in Rock". Firstly don't get me started on why Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance aren't rock. Then is this Heat magazine or a damn rock n Roll magazine? Sexiest Men in Rock? Who gives one? And it's Dave Grohl. Yes cater for the lady folk if you must but do you have to sell your soul in such a mainstream manner? 

Angus would be turning in his grave if he saw what kerrang has turned into. You cant turn the channel on with out emo pop punk videos being played 24/7. You buy the magazine and you have to trawl through pages emo pop punk, eye liner wearing, whining losers. Metro Station should not be in kerrang. Scuzz are half way there, they have the balls to play some decent stuff, but they are in the publishing business. 

Maybe I'll start a petition.

Rant over.